3 Annoyances that deserve paintball treatment...

I've been thinking about this for awhile now, usually 10 times a week (on the way to work and on the way home 5 days a week). There are three things that are just so profoundly annoying to me, that I just want to go out and buy a paintball gun, and use it on those offenders who are just too annoying NOT to shoot.

1) People who drive 10 miles an hour UNDER the speed limit in the fast lane. I think everyone who does this should have their cars peppers with multiple colored paint, as a warning that these people do not know how to drive. Never mind the fact that they don't get the clue to get the hell into a slower lane when you flash your brights at them. Now paintballing them... that'll wake them up.

2) People who can not acknowledge a simple greeting such as "Good Morning". I deal with this almost every day as well. Where I work, it's part of my job in the morning to greet people by saying "Good Morning" as an acknowledgement that I am aware of their presence, and beyond that, it's just a nice thing to do. For the most part, people are pretty good about returning the greeting, or at least nodding their head in my general direction. I don't take that as a slight at all. Sometimes people have things on their mind, or perhaps aren't feeling very socialble that morning. I get that. But the ones who walk by without even a simple acknowledgement, or worse yet, the ones who shoot you dirty looks for even speaking to them deserve... yep, you guessed it, to have their $1,000 suit custom decorated with fashionable paint. That way, everyone will be able to recognize them for the assholes they truly are from across the lobby.

3) People who twitter. I mean, really? Your life is so interesting that you find it necessary to tell people in 140 words what kind of coffee you are drinking or who you just saw in the grocery store that looks like some celebrity, or any other facet of your life that the world needs to know THAT VERY SECOND? [SPLAT] You get a paintball in the back of your head.