III Reasons I hate Georgia

Realizing that it has been in fact 6 years ago this month that we moved to Georgia from California (which I also hate with more passion than can be described), I have begun counting the reasons why I despise the not-so-great state of Georgia.

1) Summer. Having grown up roughly 50 milesish from San Francisco, in a bowl valley just east of Oakland, summers were hot, and reasonably opressive... however, it was, as they say, a dry heat. One that is akin to sitting in an oven on very low temperature for 12 weeks.

However, here in (the not-so-great) state of Georgia, we not only get the opressive heat, but humidity that seeps into every fiber of your being. Horrible humidity that makes you sweat buckets the second you open your front door (which, I theorize, evaporates and mixes in with the existing humidity, which means every breath you take (Awesome song), you are sucking in the sweat from the 400 pound trucker chick at Wal-Mart who has a very inappropriate tramp stamp on her ample back.

2) No Jack in the Box. The nearest Jack in the Box is in SOUTH CAROLINA for goodness sake, roughly a 6 hour drive round trip for bacon cheddar wedges and egg rolls, not to mention the extremely awesome Bacon Ultimate Cheeseburger (on sourdough with no ketchup or mustard). I would have absolutely no problem making the trip, mind you, if I had ample money. Of course, if I had ample money, I'd be out of this hellhole already. What's worse, is JitB is running NATIONAL ad campaigns, which adds insult to injury, rubs salt in the wound, and kicks your 3 legged blind dog all at the same time, all the while promising to expand their stores in these JitBless states soon...

Knowing my luck, the first one opened in Atlanta, will open the day after we move... and all the ones in Idaho will close the day before we get there.

3) Southern Hospitality - Why would I hate this most wonderful sounding thing that makes you envision corn bread and lemonade next to the swimming hole while pa picks at his banjo and Old Man Walters blows into his empty 'shine bottle (that he just finished drinking, and incidently is about to fall off the porch)?

Because there is NO SUCH THING. Granted, there may have been some back in the Gone with the Wind days, but now adays, Southern Hospitality has been replaced by a population who act like they've overdosed on Southern Comfort and think you stole their wallet. Goes to show that people, for the most part, are the same everywhere you go... Douchebags. Douchebags, laced with the tinge of racism, reverse racism, bi-racial racism, blatant racism, and overall just bad tempered racism. That eminates from all races. White people that hate black people, black people that hate white people, white crosswalk guys mocking their black backgrounds... it's everywhere. Definately not a place to raise a young child and expect them to be normal (i.e. with a full set of teeth and/or not pregnant at 14 and married to some guy named "Bubba" at 15).

I know the old saying about the grass is always greener, blah, blah, blah... right about now, it's sure looking pretty good.